During a group date with my two wife friends (together with our husbands with a conversation of their own), one of our topics has drifted to our sex lives. Let’s call my friends Abby and Liz, not their real names, but close to it I guess. I found out that Abby and I prefer a scheduled love making while Liz prefers it spontaneous.
I wasn’t surprised with Liz, knowing her personality. But I just got amused, that Liz’s husband, who is also a friend of ours preferred something scheduled. Most people have misconceptions that when it comes to sex, men are ever ready to plunge into it.
Abby shared that she prefers scheduled so she can prepare herself not only physically but also mentally. She just can’t shift her mind from mothering and house chores to love making in an instant. Well actually, we share the same point here.
It’s not because Abby, I and Liz’s husband are not attracted to our spouses or that we love them less. That’s far from the truth. I assume that it has something to do with our personalities. And yeah, coincidence or not, the three of us are somehow similar in temperaments.
Lucky are those spouses who both preferred spontaneous, they can make love any day or any time they want, regardless if the other one is tired or not. And for those who preferred scheduled, I think it’s kinda boring, but who knows, maybe it works. But what about the three of us? Our husbands preferred the opposite.
I know I can’t be stiff with my preference. I can allow some people to do my motherly and home making duties whenever I’m tired or have something to do.I can ask somebody to baby sit my daughter while I’m not around. I can hire a helper to tend my home when I have lots to do. But I can never have anyone to make love with my hubby when I’m tired or when I don’t feel like to.
I realized that love making, is just like any other part of a relationship. It requires a constant giving and taking and compromising. Hubby and I both compromise, something that is not always easy to do. He wants spontaneous, I want scheduled. At first we’re both struggling. But when I shared to him about what me and my girl friends talked about, he began to be at ease. He started to understand that I’m normal. Thank God. I’m normal.
With an understanding of myself, I also began to be spontaneous from time to time. Hubby’s not that disappointed anymore. We’ve started to meet in the middle, which is what married life is all about. It’s not always easy and smooth, but with communication and understanding of our differences, it will be worked out.
So what about you?
Spontaneous or Scheduled?
If you’re uncomftable to answer, just share your thoughts =)
Hubby and I both prefer spontaneous love making hehe. But interesting din yang scheduled ah. At least nga makakapagprepare.
wow ha… ang swerte nyo sa isa’t isa… go lang ng go… LOL!
me and hubby usually do both, sometimes we just have it sked coz we have a baby who suddenly interrupts us…hehe
Hi Nina! Thanks for dropping by =) I can relate, I also have a toddler who suddenly woke up in the middle of our labing labing, LOL!
Spontaneous:)When we schedule it kasi hindi natutuloy hihihi..
kung sa bagay, minsan may biglang nagka-come up pag scheduled… at least magka-sundo kayo ng hubby mo sis 🙂
Ever since it’s more of spontaneous lovemaking . I think its more romantic that way. But lately, things are so hectic we schedule it.
I think both of us are either scheduled or spontaneous especially when our tots are asleep. Sometimes I send him naughty messages magmamadali siya umuwi. Lol
LOL! I can imagine, hindi siguro magkanda-ugaga sa pag-uwi, hehe…
Hmmmmm..Kami it depends..Sadly we live separately due to circumstances..That’s why we do sched it pag magkasama kami..I think spontaneous and scheduled at the same time lalo na kung limited yung panahong magkasama kami :))))
Hi dhez! It’s nice to read a comment from you again =) I see, nagwowork pala si hubby sa malayo… for sure pag nag rere-unite kayo, sulit na sulit! 😀
Looking back, my ex-hubby and I did fail in the love making department. Yes, maybe because we didn’t meet in the middle.
Hi Pepper, thank you for sharing that part of yours. =) Anyways, it’s all behind you now. =)
hmm…it’s usually spontaneous na parang scheduled na rin kasi we know that when the ‘lil one’s not around, then may ganap talaga hahaha
i guess maganda din yung scheduled talaga para you’ll have something to look forward to.
or mas masaya yata pag both 🙂
both of us prefer spontaneous. We have a very limited time for each other
( bec we have 4 toddlers, a regular job and a lot of daily chores) so we do it whenever we want it and whenever possible.
The hubby and I prefer it to be spontaneous. It’s because when we plan it, most of the time it would not push through.
I can’t answer the question now Nova. Next year baka sakali. Hehe =) But nice insights, never knew may scheduled pala.
Hi Nova!
I truly enjoy this post. 🙂
Sa amin, we practice “both”. Before the kids start coming, we were very spontaneous but then 1st baby came along…then another one. Hahaha.
Both have their own advantage, for “spontaneous” — thrill factor. But for the “scheduled” — anticipation factor naman.
Well, I definitely agree with what you said that whatever system works for the couple as long as it will make and keep their marriage healthy, then “go” lang!
Nice blog site. More posts to come. =)
Thanks B!
I enjoyed reading your comments. I love the inputs you have on thrill and anticipation factor. 🙂
Hi nova,
me and my wife rather meet in the middle…i think we’re both happy in that arrangement….and that is eactly what I also believe as essential in marriage…when both partners agree and be happy on each decision that they share….
Hi Roldan,
It’s nice to read your comment here again. It’s good to hear that you and your wife are happy with your lovidabs arrangement =)
God bless!
I prefered scheduled love making. Ask ko lang how frequent ang love making nyo, i mean ung pinaka average? I hate this feeling kasi na parang obligation na lang kaya ako pumapayag, unfair naman kay hubby, kaya mas gusto ko ang scheduled para maprepare ko ung sarili ko mentally and emotionally. Once a week kasi kami nag loloving loving, is it normal?
Hi Abby,
I understand how you feel. As for now, me and my husband are still working on meeting in the middle. I’m sure your husband din is doing something for you kahit he’s not in the mood. We’re on the same page, we both preferred scheduled =)
Bakit kaya laging umiiwas sa loving loving ang husband ko? Im always asking him kung cold b cya talaga?kc if he is really cold i will understand him.we been married for 19yrs.
May times feeling ko compationship/kapatid n lang treat niya sa kin.
Hi Marie,
You’ve been married for 19 years na pala. On the positive side, ang tibay ng marriage nyo dahil going on two decades na kayo, the thing that’s making your relationship tick is the companionship/friendship/kapatid that you have. On the other hand, sa sobrang tagal ng marriage, it seems to me that the passion and the romantic attraction have faded with time and other preoccupations.